Never, ever, ever did I imagine that our little Bird Nest would grow to have so many kiddos.

Never, ever, ever did I imagine that after three boys we would finally produce a girl. Like, whoa. This is the story behind why and how we hid our pregnancy for 21 weeks!

After our most recent miscarriage at 12 weeks last Thanksgiving, I’d sort of given up on having any more children. Just before we lost, we were almost to the “safety zone” of the second trimester when we lost the baby, and that was so very surreal. My other miscarriages had happened at 4 and 7 weeks, respectively. Those were so early on. When I got pregnant last fall, I was shocked beyond comprehension. I wasn’t ready emotionally for the pregnancy. Not at all. Not many folks know that I struggled with depression during that pregnancy, because I didn’t know how to deal with how I was feeling let alone talk about those feelings. But that’s another conversation.

Enter Baby Bird #7. Yup, SEVEN. That’s how many times I’ve been pregnant. Side note: Some of those pregnancies were close together, like this one now. I have three [rambunctious] boys. Plus I’m a stay-at-home-and-work-like-a-boss mom. Plus I’m 33. Y’all, I’m tired! Haha! When I found out I was pregnant with this little one, my hubs and I of course kept it a secret with the goal of just trying to “survive” those first 13 weeks. And boy, did those pass s-l-o-w-l-y! Every singe day was a battle with my heart and mind and spirit as I had to lean on and pray to the Father for the ability to trust in His plan (aka not mine), the ability to have peace in Him knowing that He is in control and already knows what’s happening and what is to come. Every single day waking hour that was my prayer.

So we got to the 13 week mark. We’d had the fortunate blessing to have seen our wee little baby on the screen, hear the heartbeat, and revel in the glorious miracle of God that is a new creation. That heart beat gets me every time! But I was still nervous even as we entered the second trimester. So very nervous. As I’m tall and slender, I wasn’t even showing yet at 14 weeks (at least not to everyone else around me), so we hadn’t even told our three boys yet. That’s when we decided to just keep going with our secret. “What if,” asked Stephen, “we just waited to announce the pregnancy on the same day that we find out the gender?” That would be at least another six weeks. The idea was both nerve-wracking and hilarious. What a shock that would be to everyone! But we did it anyway.

Somehow we managed a trip to Pigeon Forge, TN with Stephen’s extended family–there were about 32 of us staying in the cabin at one time–and nobody figured it out, not even my mother-in-law. Haha! I was feeling like a genius. It’s a great thing I don’t suffer from hug-the-toilet morning sickness. Nope. Just all day indigestion and nausea. I’m not sure which is worse! In fact, the kids didn’t even know until we told them on Big Banana’s 8th birthday in mid-July!  In late July, when Stephen took our eldest to PA for a birthday trip and his parents took the middle on his own private trip to the beach (dude, I was so jealous), we finally broke the news to our parents. Wanna know why? Of course you do, or you wouldn’t still be reading! We were worried the Medium Banana would accidentally spill the beans to his grandparents! So we preemptively spilled the beans and told our parents they’d have an extra special Christmas present this year with a due date around Christmas Day.

Honestly the last three weeks have been the hardest for me as I had to find creative ways of dressing when I have gone out into public, which thankfully isn’t that often. (lame-o homebody here) Church was the hardest especially since I sing in the praise team and as baby gets bigger I lose the capacity for large gulps of air between phrases! I practically begged Stephen last weekend to be able to wear comfy maternity clothes to church on Sunday that would show off the swelling of my belly. But he was determined to make it until the ultrasound, and I relented since I knew the idea had lasted thus far and could certainly make it through the weekend.

What a morning it was. Monday, August 15th I sat on that ultrasound table surrounded by my husband, my three boys, and my mother-in-law (poor Momma couldn’t make it into town) watching the screen come to life. Our technician showed us the four chambers of the baby’s heart, the growing brain, all of the attached limbs and toes. But Little One just wouldn’t give us a clear picture of the bits until we jostled my belly and I even rolled from side to side. Yawn. Stretch. Sleep. Haha! I’ve never before seen a baby yawn in utero–it was incredible! Finally, Sharon said, “I think I know what baby is. You have a GIRL!”

Whoa. Slam on the brakes. Estrogen? Not testosterone? Ponytails and braids and pink and tea parties and dresses and, and, and???? I will no longer be the lone female in a house of men (well, eventually they’ll all be men…if I don’t eat them first). This will take some adjustment for sure. Nevertheless, we called family members and then made the post that seemed to rock the Facebook world. I’ve never seen so many comments and likes on a singular post. Haha! In fact, one of my friends asked me last night if I taught a class on pregnancy and essential oil safety because I’m pregnant (nope, just a needed class!). We’ve almost chosen her name, and her name is ever so dear to Stephen and me. So precious. Breathe, momma. You’re having a girl. Whoa.